Rotary News from around
Australia Youngsters learn to put safety first – Wednesday, 16 August 2006 http://bendigo.yourguide.com.au/detail.asp?class=news&subclass=general&story_id=502257&category=General&m=8&y=2006 MORE than 1000 school children filled the Rochester football ground for the annual Rotary Farm and Road Safety Expo yesterday. The rural town was buzzing as a convoy of buses transported students from primary and secondary schools across the region.
Rotary signs youth up for adventureTuesday, 15 August 2006 http://forbes.yourguide.com.au/detail.asp?class=news&subclass=general&story_id=502049&category=General&m=8&y=2006 If you have at least two years experience in the workplace, you could follow in the footsteps of Mat Teale, who toured Argentina recently with Rotary District 9700’s Group Study Exchange (GSE) team. Mr Teale, an environmental health and building surveyor at Forbes Shire Council, was one of five young district professionals selected to join the Rotary 9700 GSE team on a six week tour of Argentina.
Suicide ‘first aid’ lifelineCHRISANTHI GIOTISMonday, 14 August 2006 http://dubbo.yourguide.com.au/detail.asp?class=news&subclass=general&story_id=501830&category=General&m=8&y=2006 Only a week after the article had appeared in the Daily Liberal in June the Dubbo Macquarie Rotary Club voted to donate $6500 to Lifeline Central West to run a training course in Dubbo. At the time they thought the funding would be enough for one training course but the donation by Country Energy of their training rooms for free meant the money is enough to run two Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training courses in Dubbo.
You may not know this but many non-living things have a gender!
- Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
- Copiers are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It’s an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
- A Tyre is Male, because it goes bald and it’s often over-inflated.
- A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there’s the hot air part.
- Sponges are Female, because they’re soft, squeezable and retain water.
- A Web Page is Female, because it’s always getting hit on.
- A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
- An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
- A Hammer is Male , because it hasn’t changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it’s handy to have around.
- A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it’d be male , didn’t you? But consider this – it gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!
THE BACON TREE
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden… “Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I is sure of eet”.”Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee”. So, with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded with bacon. There’s raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there’s fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon…every imaginable kind of cured pig meat you can imagine!! “Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Eees a bacon tree”. “Luis, are sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don’ forget”. “Pepe, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell of bacon… ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree”. And with that…Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe following closely behind; when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up, and Luis is cut down is his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath. “Pepe… go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree” “Luis, Luis mi amigo…what ees eet?” “Pepe…ees not a bacon tree… Ees…Ees…”Ees, a Ham Bush” BX Rotary Club is having an Art Show – Opening Friday August 18th, and going all weekend (Sat 9-6, Sun 9-4) at the Walshaw hall (behind the NAB), 10 per hd. It is a travelling show and sale of paintings by promoter Kevin Hill (see www.kevinhillstopten.com.au for artists’ bios) with proceeds from entry night (7pm – $10) and a raffle to go towards the construction of an accommodation block at
Bathurst base hospital for families of the seriously ill. Some of the artists will be in attendance. Entry on Sat and Sun free. RSVP for catering Steve or Lisa 63344934.